Being Seen

Being ‘seen’ isn’t just a social and personal longing we all share, it’s one of the most potent human longings. Because of that, truly ‘seeing’ others is the most amazing gift we can each other. It’s effect is increased self-awareness, self-acceptance, self-worth, and self-confidence. It’s a powerful cure for the crisis of connection we’re caught up in, and it’s a gift I want to give you. I want to see the real you, but you’ll have to let me. It’s the real you I want to see, not the curated version we let people see.

We all have to face our own fears and insecurities so we can be seen. We have to see that the only way to achieve inner peace is through being open and vulnerable to yourself first, and then show more and more of that real you to the rest of the world beyond the mirror. It sure as hell was a challenge for me and my bet is that being vulnerable like that is as huge a challenge for other people too, maybe you? I didn’t want to see that I spent 50 years of my life disconnected from the inner workings of my self-worth, but I had. I was too afraid to look at myself and too afraid to let people see my insecurities, fears, or failings, so letting people see those in me wasn’t an easy thing.

But not so much anymore. Oh, I’m not ‘fearless’ yet, not by any measure, and I quite doubt I ever will be, but I have learned that the emptiness, loneliness, directionless, and insecurities I felt kept me secreted away hidden and small, and were 100% rooted in my fear of being seen as I truthfully was. I was afraid to wear a hat, too afraid to let people see what I suck at, too afraid that my body was unattractive, too afraid of being laughed at, too afraid of letting people see weakness in me, too afraid of being rejected, too afraid of loosing what acceptance I hoped others had for me. Intellectually I knew that I wasn’t alone in any of my fears, but emotionally, I was trapped by them.

Now, being seen is about much more than being looked at, which itself can leave us feeling exposed and vulnerable, it’s by far more about accepting the very aspect of yourself that’s being looked at either in the mirror or by anyone else… it’s the discomfort of vulnerability and fear of being discovered as unacceptable, not pretty or handsome enough, broken, weak, disposable, fat or skinny, lonely, afraid, a failure, and any manner of other things we keep hidden.

Being seen, truly seen, is a personal challenge to overcome the control your fears have over you. When you imagine doing something you’re anxious or afraid of doing, you feel it in the pit of your stomach, and you’re natural inclination is to pull back thinking your fears reflect reality… but ask yourself… are those fears about real tigers or paper tigers? I was afraid to wear a hat fearing ridicule and rejection. I understand where that fear came from now, but I took a hard look at it, and allowed myself to feel the fear, and do it anyway. Yep.. it was a paper tiger. I’m a practicing naturist, but I was too afraid of being judged and not having a good enough body to get naked socially. But I felt the fear and did it anyway, and now I reap the rewards that come with it. Yes, that was a paper tiger too. Each time I stared down a fear, it became clear that it was a paper tiger too. Except for maybe that bully in grade 4… until I’d had enough and fought back… sending the bully running home tail between his legs… turns out he was like any other paper tiger, fake, impotent, pathetic.

I’m a photographer with a penchant for beauty. I see beauty in flowers. I see beauty in inanimate objects. I see beauty in the sky. More than anything else, I see beauty in people. I see beauty looking deeply in people’s eyes. I look deeper than colour texture light and form. On my side the lens, the beauty I hope to capture is the human spirit and determination to be seen for the truth being lived in my subject. I invite you to let me see you.

It’s your turn to take the challenge. See the tiger for what it is… paper.